Posts tagged sexual assault
Posts tagged sexual assault
This post is in response to the article Nikki Haley Calls Battered And Raped Women ‘Distractions,’ Vetoes Legislation. I think Haley is a despicable human being and should be called out for degrading domestic violence and sexual assault victims. Her stance is dangerous because it will make it harder for anyone who has been victimized to seek resources after their assault. It only shames people for being assaulted and tells them they do not matter. That is fucking dangerous. It is not only dangerous to the victims themselves but also their kids and families. Haley needs to go fuck herself and remove her head from her ass. However, responding with rape threats is NOT the fucking answer. It is never okay to make rape threats, I do not care how despicable the person is. Jesus fucking Christ.
By saying “that guy,” you trivialize rape. By saying “that guy,” You show how afaid you are of the word. Rapist.
That guy in which you refer is a rapist. Don’t be a rapist. Every time you slap another one of these ad campaigns against a wall or billboard you help those who view it not connect the dots between non consent and rape.
When I hear the term “that guy” I think of the idiot who mooches off of his friends. I think of the idiot who goes through my fridge and eats half a weeks worth of my TV dinners. I think of the idiot who takes four beers out of my fridge. I think of the idiot who overstays his welcome. When I hear rapist I think of someone who rapes.
By saying ”that guy,” I think of someone who overstays his welcome and mooches. Which, in return comes very close if not hitting a dehumanizing element.
The idea that ”that guy” is mooching off of a girl too drunk to give her consent. A guy who has overstayed his welcome. This is not the case. He is raping her. He is committing a crime. Againt law, against humanity.
Please do everyone a favor. Be bold and strongly type “Don’t be a rapist.”
Bloody hell. The posters say “sexual assault”, too. There is not one mention of rape on those posters. You know, those posters campaigning against rape.
So what, some campaigns are finally getting the idea that we shouldn’t be teaching people (largely women) how not to get raped - we should be teaching people (largely men) not to rape. And yet they’re left the word ‘rape’ off of the poster… what, so as not to hurt mens feelings? To get the message across to them gently? “C’mon, man, don’t be that guy! It’s not cool, bro!”
Sorry, this is not a strong enough message. Why is it okay to regularly scare and shame women in anti-rape campaigns, but when we are talking to the actual potential culprits and not the potential victims, we have to let them off lightly?
I … disagree.
I think it’s kind of easy for us, as in those within the SJ community, to sit around and pick holes in this campaign, because there are holes in this campaign. They’re obvious, and they’re the exact holes the others have mentioned.
But this campaign isn’t directed at us, it’s directed at the average Joe.
Women know what rape is, they’ve been told about it their whole life. Many have unfortunately experienced it, or at least known someone close to them who has. Men, on the other hand, don’t. To men, a rapist is a big scary super villain in a mask who jumps out of a bush and throws a waifish, purer than the driven snow blonde into the back of a van.
Rapists are not real people to men.
That Guy, however, is. Everybody knows That Guy and, as ridiculous as it sounds, to many men That Guy is literally the worst thing you can be. Rule Number One of the Bro Code - page 1 line 1, written in black and white for all to see - is Don’t Be That Guy.
You can mock the idea of a Bro Code all you like, but I know a lot of guys who live by it. I also know a lot of guys who have no qualms about getting a girl drunk, who won’t even leave for a club until 11, because what’s the point in going to a club full of sober women?
You probably wouldn’t be surprised a how often these three groups overlap.
The word rape isn’t used because the word rape doesn’t work. We’ve been using it for centuries and it hasn’t changed a thing. We used the word rape for the allegations against Strauss-Kahn and look how far that got us. I saw far too many articles about how his arrest has left “the IMF in crises” or speculating on “who will fill the power vacuum?” for my, or anyones, liking.
I realise this may seem as a somewhat patronising change of tack, but drink driving is something which also ruins lives. But making it illegal didn’t stop anyone doing it. Just saying “this is wrong, you can’t do it” won’t stop people doing anything. How many people do you know who take drugs?
But as soon as drink driving was added to the list of Dick Moves, drink driving became a really big no-no. Look at the backlash around Ryan Dunns death. I don’t know a single person who thinks he’s anything but an asshole, even the ones who were upset about his death will admit that. I didn’t see Roger Ebert coming up with any pithy tweets about Julian Assange, and I follow a lot of people who would reblog a pithy tweet by Roger Ebert about Julian Assange.
Sure, it may seem trivialising to reduce rape to a Dick Move - because it is - but it’s something that will work. This campaign is not aimed at us, this campaign is aimed at the kind of people who think it’s ok to have sex with someone when they’re too drunk to consent. We’re not even at 101 levels with the people the ad is aimed at, we’re in kindergarten. We can get into deep and meaningful discussions all we want, but the people this ad is based at aren’t the ones we’ll be talking to.
I’m not going to totally ignore this one, Don’t Be That Guy is a shitty anti-rape slogan, but it’s also possibly going to be an effective one. And that’s what matters, right? If it helps stop rape, then it’s good, right?
Yeah, I actually agree with you. I wanted to add some not-as-in-depth or long commentary before reblogging it, but I forgot because I’m exhausted.
And I just want to add that I think it’s fine to say sexual assault instead of rape. Rape in included in the larger group of violations we call sexual assault. And considering how narrow the law’s definition of rape sometimes is, using sexual assault as the descriptor actually covers far more of those situations. Just a thought.
Other than that, I’ll just tip my figurative hat to the insightful commentary.
reblogged for interesting commentary
There’s been some controversy over the SlutWalk protests taking place across the world. There’s a lot to say, but until I have the time to write something comprehensive, I thought I would let oh-so-lovely commenters from around the globe demonstrate why SlutWalks are so desperately needed.
“I kind of feel sorry for the police officer. I understand that he wasn’t blaming victims but it has all been blown out of proportion. I mean we prosecute thieves but we also tell people to lock their doors when they go out.”
“Seriously if you wish to dress sexy and strut your stuff you should expect sexual violence. Yes you can blame the man who cannot control himself but if he is found guilty you should also be found guilty of being so inviting.”
“you women that dress provocatively will attract the pervert/rapist whatever nearby. simple as that. when they see boobs and thigh and butt they all go nuts. so dont entice them as much as possible.”
“you shows your assets off you are just as much at fault if you get raped.”
“Do not just blame the person doing the assaulting if you are going to run around strutting your stuff.”
“if i didn’t want my car to be broke in. i would lock the doors and keep valuables out of site. will that save it? no, but it lowers my risk. ladies, carry mace and learn to fight otherwise you might make yourself a victim by giving wrong impressions.”
“You wouldn’t be walking through a safari park smelling of bacon, would you?”
“If you dress like a billboard, you are going to get customers. You can’t just do whatever you want and expect everyone to think what you demand. You are not that special.”
Get these things through your head before you fucking talk about modest clothing being this magical way to prevent rape.
People steal because they need money, so yeah, we lock our doors at night. No one needs to rape. If you think rape is about sex, you’re quite wrong; it’s about control. Attractive women in revealing clothes are NOT the only people who get raped- little old ladies get raped, people in comas get raped, men get raped, children get raped. It’s not about sex appeal, because, guess what, rape HAS NOTHING TO DO with normal, consensual sex. It’s a VIOLENT ACT, which sex is patently NOT. It’s about someone being a fucking RAPIST, who sees sex as a way to control someone and to hurt them (and the way our culture perpetuates this idea is disgusting, and needs fixing, but that’s a whole ‘nother can of worms), and not even full-body coverings (nuns’ habits, full hijab) will stop them.
Yes, a lady who wears something that makes her look good is “inviting attention”. But so are you, in your expensive fucking suit, and no one’s going around saying you’re asking to get mugged. Attention =/= rape.
But what makes me the angriest about “uncovered meatdom”? The implication that men are these hulking, backwards-ass beasts that can’t help themselves.
I like men. I love men. I know they’re better than that. And this whole “monkey see, monkey fuck” kind of caveman bullshit? That’s degrading to all men, and it’s 100% false. I’m sorry, but I expect more from men, and I’m not going to accept it as an excuse for the scummiest fucking dregs of society.
</preaching to the choir>
Folks, the take-home message for today is that rape is about domination, fear, control, and power. It can happen to anyone regardless of age, sex, or income level and does happen regardless of the way someone chooses to dress. Blaming the victim is not the way to stop it.
Kevin Smith (director) on the ridiculousness of movies about sex receiving NC-17 ratings while extremely violent movies get by with R ratings (via phillip-gallagher)
He can be a side-eye magnet sometimes, but slow clap today for this. (via sanspantalones)
Hello there :). First off the resource itself is “Body Wars” by Margo Maine Ph.D. so if you can find a copy of it in any library or bookstore, all the footnotes/represented research papers are there. The actual research cited is in the book “I Never Called it Rape: The Ms. Report on on Recognizing, Fighting and Surviving Date and Acquaintance Rape” which is based off national campus wide survey. Here is a website that compiles the information as well, full of references below http://www.aaets.org/arts/art13.htm
I hope that helps! :D